Thanks, Jason for today's practice. A few weeks ago, my friend asked me to meet her and chat about some things (she's married and i'm not). I very much wanted to meet her but because i knew she wanted to talk about her financial problems, her relationship with her husband's family and other negative things, i didn't directly say no to her and instead, made up an excuse to free myself (i wish i could directly say no to her. I guess a part of me still wants to be a people-pleaser). And finally, about people-pleasing and some other things, i believe one's culture is partly responsible for turning some traits into obligations. For instance, my dominantly-collectivist Persian culture, expects me to respect my grandparents, even if it takes the form of avoiding saying no to them (i'm the only daughter and firstborn of my parents).
Saying NO to Family is the hardest one: that's why we work up to it in this.
I, too, believe one's culture is partly responsible for turning some traits into obligations. I'm from Australia, where the first words of of anyone's mouth before asking for something is "Sssorry... but could I--"
The commitment to family is strong: you can't choose your culture or your family, but you can choose how you mindfully react to both. I hope the lessons in the coming days will help. (Lots more Recommended reading coming up tomorrow!)
Thanks, Jason for today's practice. A few weeks ago, my friend asked me to meet her and chat about some things (she's married and i'm not). I very much wanted to meet her but because i knew she wanted to talk about her financial problems, her relationship with her husband's family and other negative things, i didn't directly say no to her and instead, made up an excuse to free myself (i wish i could directly say no to her. I guess a part of me still wants to be a people-pleaser). And finally, about people-pleasing and some other things, i believe one's culture is partly responsible for turning some traits into obligations. For instance, my dominantly-collectivist Persian culture, expects me to respect my grandparents, even if it takes the form of avoiding saying no to them (i'm the only daughter and firstborn of my parents).
Saying NO to Family is the hardest one: that's why we work up to it in this.
I, too, believe one's culture is partly responsible for turning some traits into obligations. I'm from Australia, where the first words of of anyone's mouth before asking for something is "Sssorry... but could I--"
The commitment to family is strong: you can't choose your culture or your family, but you can choose how you mindfully react to both. I hope the lessons in the coming days will help. (Lots more Recommended reading coming up tomorrow!)
Thanks, Jason. I look forward to the next lessons.