Day #24: The line that will help you build a buffer before your "NO"
You know not to say "Yes" on the phone-- but what DO you say instead?
1 Brief but Useful Tool Today:
I realize I gave you the insights from Daniel Kahneman and Oliver Sacks on Day #21 to never say yes on the phone. What I did not give you was a line to use in order to make that process a little easier. Once again, I’ll be sharing one from someone way smarter than me:
In Greg Mckeown’s excellent book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, he shares a fantastic, simple tool that is both inoffensive and clear no matter who you’re talking to:
The NO Repertoire:
One leader I know found her time being hijacked by other people all day. A classic Nonessentialist, she was capable and smart and unable to say no, and as a result, she soon became a “go-to” person. People would run up to her and say, “Could you help with X project?”
Meaning to be a good citizen, she said yes. But soon she felt burdened with all of these different agendas. Things changed for her when she learned to use a new phrase:
”Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”
It gave her the time to pause and reflect and ultimately reply that she was regretfully unavailable. It enabled her to take back control of her own decisions rather than be rushed into a “yes” when she was asked.
Recommended Reading:
Greg Mckeown - Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
This is a book that advocates for simplifying one's life by focusing on what truly matters. McKeown argues that by identifying and eliminating non-essential tasks and commitments, individuals can achieve greater clarity, purpose, and success. The book offers practical strategies for making deliberate choices, saying NO more often, and prioritizing essential tasks to lead a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
I have this mug sitting on my desk while I go through my inbox.
Because the old adage is true: You teach that which you need to learn, I constantly need reinforcement and reminders of the insights I share here at NO-vember. So I made this mug. If you want one you can get one delivered — I don’t have a discount code or anything; I didn’t start this thing to start shilling mugs.
Baby steps. NO takes practice. Start small, and work your way up.
Good luck,
- Jason